The Hands of Joseph

The outward looking Joseph statue on my nightstand spent the first 5 months of his stay with us being terribly misunderstood. Then suddenly, this month, I got it.

He stands with his hands folded over his heart, head slightly down. I imagine that for Joseph there was a lot going on in life. His wife-to-be was pregnant with a child that was not his own. And what does Joseph do, he decides to quietly divorce her and therefore, quietly carry the weight of her supposed indiscretion and perhaps, even after the angel, his twinges of doubt.

And then, he is to take a journey with her, a journey with a nine-month's pregnant woman on donkey-back. I understand this, as I see my own wife in this condition currently. If my wife asks for back rubs every night, what would Mary have hoped for after her bumpy ride? But Joseph takes the weight of this responsibility and heads off.

Then he can't find a room for them. He carries this disappointment. Then the baby is born. He carries the joy. Then the reality sets in... he's supposed to father the savior of the world. He carries that weight. Herod wants to kill Jesus, carry that weight. And then, after seeing, carrying, supporting, he just fades out of the story. He's gone through the rest of the gospels. Dead? Probably. Life had been heavy.

I saw his figure on my nightstand, holding his hands to his heart, as a symbol of his grabbing and accepting all the responsibility of the family and taking that into himself. Taking responsibility and being persevering. And I think that I am right.

And I think that I am wrong.

The gesture of holding his hands to his heart is actually the middle of a gesture. I think that previous he had his hands out, accepting all the responsibilities. Then I think he drew them to himself, accepting the weight of all these situations and difficulties. But then, I realized the hope that was in his eye. He wasn't just holding his hands to himself, with all the difficulties, treacheries, and depression that could bring. He was acknowledging his part and then...

he was going to give them to God.

I see now. He's just pausing, but he's getting ready to spread his palms into the air and let God be in control. Joseph's task was constantly figuring out his role in relation to God, and this simple placement of a figurine's hands is helping me figure this out to.

You take all that is around, the weight of others, the choices you make, the responsibilities you have. You prepare yourself to sacrifice, to give, to be there for them, to make the right and responsible decisions. And in all of this, you keep lifting your hands up to God.

Because you are not going to do it on your own.